8th Blog

8th blog

August 22, 2023

I’ve been busy these past few weeks. My full time gig is working in a not-for-profit corporate department that leads cultural change in a large faith-based healthcare organization. Health care in Florida, and across my country, needs change. Lately I’ve been thinking about the subtle distinction between developing skills at work and being good at the job. I’ve been in my role since 2016, and I’ve been able to pick up many skills. I often find myself going to hospital floors and emergency departments, which can be chaotic environments. These are opportunities to deliver complex messages to a variety of people in new and different ways. The landscape of healthcare is generally complex and things either change all the time, or need to change but aren’t. There are always new regulations or evidence for best practice, or new methods for extracting data or tracking things to save costs. I’ve learned a few lessons the hard way. I’ve learned that sometimes problems are designed. People design ways for themselves to profit or personally gain from something not working. Sometimes I find problems that those in power don’t want me to solve. They don’t want me to even point them out. A lot of barriers to change within healthcare are due to egos. The key barriers to change within healthcare are due to the selfish and small minded nature of certain humans who hold the right kind of power. I view my role as one to change this aspect, but I have to play my part right and not upset the apple cart too much.

Personally, I don’t love the healthcare industry. I find myself having endless conversations about topics I don’t much care about. I’ve been in this role for six years. My dream is to create a source of income separate from the biweekly paycheck they dole out.

“Know thyself” is inscribed on the Temple of Apollo in Delphi. I’m on a journey to find my path. I feel lost and a bit stuck. If you can’t find a path, create one. I’ve long since known I’m an introvert and I decided a long time ago to live my life based around reading and writing instead of endlessly hanging out with people. I am going to read and write until I can’t anymore. I’m considering creating an hour a day of spoken word art. Upload it to the YouTube channel. Would anyone listen? It may start out rough but I suspect it could turn into something good.

Mastery involves skills. Skills are learnable. Lots of practice makes perfect. Perfection is a worthy goal. I do meditation and yoga and keep these things in mind while I do them. I have a consistent exercise routine. I write notes in journals I keep around my desk at the office at home.

One time at the Zurich airport, I noticed an attractive woman in her early 40’s. She looked healthy and fit, like she took good care of herself. She looked like a yoga instructor. At the duty free shop in the airport, I saw her pick up a carton of Marlboro cigarettes, but then put it back down. She did this more than once, clearly conflicted and trying to dissuade herself from actually buying them. I sat next to her on the plane and noticed the edge of the carton sticking out of her carry on bag.

I love yoga. I always feel noticeably better within my body after I do a session of yoga. I feel an improvement within my sense of my mind-body connection. I feel I am able to more positively derive pleasure from my body and mind with this renewed sense of connection. I recently read a book called Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson, and there’s a line that says: “people need to feel good before they do good in the world”. My yoga practice allows insightful awareness of specific areas of the body that are hurting or holding tension. Through practice, I am more aware of the specific areas and types of inflammation within my body. It’s a constant of cutting out sugar, alcohol, and carbohydrates. I tell myself: this is how I eat now.

A few weekends ago I went to Washington D.C. It’s good for me to visit my nation’s capital city. I used to live in Silver Spring, Maryland, and I worked downtown and loved it. I loved the idea of being in the heart of what’s going on politically in my country. There is a lot of contrast from living in Florida for the past ten years. Believe it or not, a lot of people hate the government in Florida. If not outright hate, there’s a general mistrust, which I agree is warranted. My rule of thumb is to not trust the U.S. Government as a concept either, but recognize it’s made of normal and good people who are generally trying to do the right thing and get through their work day.

In September 2022, we went to another prominent capital city: Rome, Italy. It’s much more impressive. It has so much history. Washington D.C. does too, but on a much smaller scale. I saw the difference between hundreds of years of history versus Rome’s thousands. I preferred Rome. The Roman empire lasted from 753 BCE to 455 CE, about 1,200 years. The United States has been an empire for 247 years, and only just became a world power since the 19th century or so.

I’m reading a book titled Creating Russophobia: from the Great Religious Schism to Anti-Putin Hysteria written by Guy Mettan and published in 2017. I want to know more about Russia since they invaded Ukraine in 2022. I am anti-war, but recognize that I live in a US-centric bubble. I’m looking to generate opinions based on facts so I can add to my existing model of what should be done regarding war overseas. Being anti-war, I still acknowledge there is a complicated history surrounding the current crisis in Ukraine.The book is divided into two parts. The first part goes through the recent history of Russia and conflicts that involved the West (The West is defined as the United States and allied countries within the European Union like The United Kingdom, France, Germany, etc.). I’ve not found many arguments presented in the book convincing so far. I am more informed on what happened in the Beslan Hostage Crisis in 2004, or what happened in the Russo-Georgian war in 2008. I doubt many people reading this are aware of these events, as I was unaware prior. Broadly speaking, the West has a different view on these events than Russia, and these disagreements provide additional context to a later conflict that involves Russia taking over parts of Ukraine in recent years. Part II of the book covers the history of the separation between Russia and the rest of Europe, with special emphasis on the Great Schism where Eastern Orthodox Christianity began separating from the Roman Catholic church. I know a lot more about Roman Catholicism than I do of Orthodox Christianity. I may say more about the book another time, but so far my worldview that Putin seems to be a powerful driver of negative force on this planet, and that Russia as a country should be held at fault for invading Ukraine, remains confirmed. My position right now is that Putin and the Kremlin are still in the wrong, and they should pull out of Ukrainian territory, but I now recognize my biases and have a more informed view of the conflict. More information may yet change my mind.

I recently read a book called The Multi-Orgasmic Man by a Taoist Master named Mantak Chia. I read it out of curiosity and because the title caught my attention. It was published in 1996. Chia has some wacky ideas, and the information contained in the book is written in a non direct way. The book emphasizes the importance of regular kegel exercises and learning to be aware of the rate of sexual arousal. The book outlines techniques and mindfulness during sex. Relaxation is a requirement. The author emphasizes that with enough practice, almost any man can experience a non-ejaculatory orgasm without a refractory period. I’m a curious and open-minded individual, and have learned some interesting things from the book. It has enhanced my life in positive ways, both with how I feel in my body and especially with my partner.

I had an idea to rewatch Neon Genesis Evangelion for the third time and analyze occult themes within the series, for there are many. My brother, who we celebrated turning 21 recently, mentioned how much he loved the series.

I recently produced an audiobook of a book by Mircea Eliade called The Sacred and the Profane, published in 1957. It’s on my YouTube channel: Michael Kuhlman.

I saw an interesting and scary horror movie called A Dark Song. It was a low budget horror movie soaked with occult themes. A Dark Song is about a woman attempting a complicated ritual. It’s about serious occult magic. To me, it was an interesting peek behind the curtain of what people believe the occult is, in this case for the British film.

Lately I’ve been focusing on relaxation. I think about getting into flow states, and generally being in a good mood. I’ve been taking cold showers in the morning. I’ll go outside and feel the heat of the early morning sun on my skin. I look up at the sky, and fill my eyes with morning light. I heard this activates my eyes in the morning, and helps establish circadian rhythm. Whatever it’s doing, it’s been working really well for me. I feel so good after a cold shower, it’s been hard to believe. A cold shower is better than my first cup of coffee.

I went on a trip to California to visit Yosemite and Lake Tahoe. Both beautiful locations for nature and hiking. I’ve gotten back and I'm really focused on losing my ego. At the tail end of the trip, I was introduced to some new friends through a person I knew we were visiting over there. They asked me questions and I had to formulate responses, which was building into a persona I refer to as my ego. The self (or ego) is the annoying thing that people keep trying to get to know. I had to focus to remember the details of my life and how I grew up, etc., in order to answer their probing questions. I feel obligated to put on a performance and give entertaining responses to people’s questions.

I came from the experience with a plan: spend 3 hours a day alone for the next week. I mentioned this to my wife, and she is happy to oblige because she and I are both introverts, and even though we love each other, spending every moment with another human being wears us both down. This is a time to fill up my own cup, and give to the things I want to in life. I do try to keep those things positive, such as creating art, writing, drawing, listening to good music, and stay away from time sinks that don’t serve me, like browsing reddit, watching low entertainment online, and other generally negative time wasters. I’d like to remove things that don’t add to me and my future.